But not everything associated with genealogy holds an interest for me. Here are 10 things I can list right off the bat that I don’t give a fig about.
1. Family crests. Really. Don’t need more junk around the house.
2. The One-World Super-Duper Ginormongous Family Tree. Yeah, I believe we’re all related somewhere down the line. And the OWSDGFT kind of proves it: all families have fights, and this thing causes all sorts of fights, so we must all be related, right? And who wants to have proof that they are related to PeeWee Herman, Sylvester Stallone, Adolph Hitler, and that jerk who cut in front of you on the highway the other day?
3. Being related to Charlemagne. He’s what - my 33rd great-grandfather? I probably have more genes in common with PeeWee Herman. Oh, wait.
4. Having a gazillion people in my family tree. Not only does my computer only have so much memory, I only have so much memory.
5. Having an Indian Princess among my ancestors. I’ll be satisfied with any ole run-of-the-mill Native American.
As close as I'll ever get to an Indian Princess
6. Being related to any living celebrities. See Number 2 above. It would just be my luck.... Besides, judging from old family pictures, we tend more toward the Marjorie Main model than the Katherine Hepburn model.
7. Being able to “jump the pond” with all my lines. Well, yeah, OK, a little interest, at least for a few lines. But really, I’m plenty busy just finding out what the heck my ancestors were up to in this country.
8. Winning arguments.
“Oh, BTW, we aren’t related to Sir Christopher So-and-So. That genealogy is bogus.”
“But I found it on lots of online trees. It must be true.”
“The DNA evidence indicates that we aren’t related.”
“Oh, that DNA stuff is just pseudo-science.”
“But look at this guy here, his mother would only have been eight years old when he was born.”
“It has been known to happen. There was a case in India....”
Waste of breath/ink/time.
9. Having only ancestors who were morally impeccable and totally nice. It’s not that I have a preference for scoundrels and stinkers, it’s just that the scoundrels and stinkers left more records.
10. “Finishing my research.” Where’s the fun in that?